Have you ever thought about renting a kid? Like, a child (boy or girl. ok, I guess that’s obvious), not a baby goat. Though that would be interesting and prove to be quite entertaining, I bet! 😉 But, seriously – have you ever thought about renting a kid?
Well, my family has. More specifically, my older brother (yep, the same one who I arm wrestled and killed my shoulder with. yeah, him. 😀 ). I know, I know, we’re totally weird to think of inhumane things like this, but just think about it:
You want to impress that special someone with your *amazing* childcare skills, so you stop by Rent A Kid to pick one up.
Can’t choose which gender? Well, that’s what the staff are for. They’ll assist you in deciding which would work better with you and for your purpose, or whether you should just take one of each to show how super talented you are.
Can’t decide on what age? Once again, the staff will fly in to save the day. Are you looking to be super amazingly awesome for the special someone? Go for the rowdy two-year old. Or better yet, the cranky 12 month old, who’s beginning to walk and doesn’t know what the word “no” means. Oh and don’t forget about those sharp new teeth. Yeah, that’ll be *perfect*. 😉
Maybe you’re looking for a child whose calmer, yet still shows that you “got this” and can totally handle kids. I think our staff will suggest the 5 and 6 year olds – but you better watch out; they’ve just discovered the *real* use for scissors.
With Rent A Kid, you are under no obligation to keep the child for any amount of time. After all, kids are kids, and you may be getting in way over your head. There are also services for the men who come running back five minutes after they left – with their tie undone, hair frazzled and matted with spit up (does projectile vomiting sound familiar?), milk and coffee stains all over their clothes, shoelaces untied, yet knotted together and for some unknown reason, scratch and bite marks covering their skin.
But, we would like to let you know that we have *no* idea how this happened, that it was *completely* unusual and we are by no means responsible for this child’s behavior (just check the small print in the release form you signed when you “checked out” with the kid).
Please return the children when you’re done, and we’ll have them cleaned and ready for the next customer in no time. Have a nice day, and hope your special someone was highly impressed. 😉
haha so I just want to mention here that even though this is a fun and completely fictional idea, children are a blessing from the Lord, and are worth more than gold. Of course I would not condone anything like this occurring, but it’s fun to joke about.
Matthew 18:10 says, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in Heaven, their angels always see the face of My Father who is in Heaven.”
Luke 18:15-17 says, “…But Jesus called to them, saying, “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belong the Kingdom of God. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”
Have a great week!!