I want to snowboard. I want to play basketball. I want to dance freely with a flexible and limit-free body. I want to do activities with the youth at my church without killing myself or regretting it later. And I can’t do any of this with my injured shoulder.
I’m a point right now where I can do a lot of stuff, yet there’s a fine line of stuff I can’t do. It’s almost like I can touch it, yet I can’t get it. Like a candy bar just out of reach enough so you can’t grab it, but you can just barely touch it. I’m so close, yet so far.
I think this may be one of the hardest times I’ve had yet with my shoulder. At least before it was like I couldn’t do anything (not that I enjoyed it), so I didn’t have a taste of what it was like. But now I can do sooo many things and practically live “normally”, yet there are still so many things I can’t do. I’ve never been all that much into sports, but now that I see what I can’t do, it makes me want to do it.
Yet, at the same time, my shoulder is making huge strides in getting better (at last!!) – so maybe it won’t be all that long before I can do some of those things… It might take a while for me to convince myself that it’s ok when that time comes, though.
Just a month or so ago, I was playing catch with my family and totally re-injured my shoulder. It was horrible….I hadn’t felt that kind of pain since physical therapy right after my surgery. That was from catch!! I think I just over-did it, but now I’m pretty apprehensive to try throwing again.
Do you guys see what kind of turmoil I’m going through right now? It’s like I want to do the things I can’t, yet don’t want to do them at the same time. Ugh! My brain must have something wrong with it, I’ll tell ya. Can’t it make up it’s mind? 😉
Thanks for letting me vent. I’m just trying to sort things out. It really isn’t all that bad – things could always be worse. I have it off pretty good compared to a lot of people, and I have a lot to be thankful for.
On a lighter note, have you guys noticed my new blog theme? What do you think?? I’ve had my eye on this one for a while, but only just now switched to it. Ok, so not “just now” – I think I’ve had it for a week or so. But you know me and themes – they change frequently. I guess that’s just like my brain….hmm…not sure if that’s good or bad. 😉
But I still want to snowboard. Ok, that was random. But it’s true! 😉 I’ve wanted to snowboard for like 3 years – but the first year we didn’t have money or something…maybe we just didn’t make the move for it, I don’t know. Then last year I injured my shoulder and had surgery, so that was problematic. And now I still have an injured shoulder – but I’m working on some special exercises to strengthen my shoulder so I could possibly snowboard. I know it’s dangerous and hard….but for some reason, I just feel really attracted to the sport. We’ll see, I guess.
Philippians 4:13 is very encouraging to me in this time. ‘I can do anything through Him who strengthens me.’
This verse reminds me that even if I don’t have the strength to do something, Jesus Christ does. Being a Christian, I am empowered through the Holy Spirit – and I can do anything through Him if it’s according to His will – even when I think it’s physically impossible. If this means getting me through the rest of physical therapy, it’ll happen. If it means getting me on to a snowboard – it’ll happen. As long as it’s in His will, nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible. 😀
Until next time,
*title quote from Dave Berry.