Friday was really special for me. I had my last physical therapy appointment. It was graduation day!!
After 2 years of physical therapy, pain, injections, doctor appointments, medications, pain creams, TENS units (an electronic device that’s used to help manage pain), ultrasounds, and exercises…. I’m done. 😀 😀
It’s been a LONG two years. It has drastically changed my life, and my view on medicine/doctors. I’ve learned that the general view of our advanced medical knowledge is extremely far-fetched and exaggerated. Medicine isn’t near what it’s cracked up to be. If you have an ailment/injury, and you go to the doctor/physical therapist, there’s a high chance of hearing “I don’t know” – a lot. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this over the past 2 years. It’s been said by orthopedic surgeons (who spend a minimum of 8 years in medical study), physical therapists, PT assistants, hospital personnel, etc. I’ve lost count of how often I’ve heard it.
My life, in general, for the past two years has been all medical appointments. And now I’m done with it. Sure, my shoulder still hurts, and it’s still sore. There are certain things that I still can’t do. I know that my shoulder will never be the same as it was before I injured it, and there are things that I won’t be able to do again. However, it’s liveable. I can deal with it. If the pain becomes too bad, I know how to conquer it. I know what exercises to do to release some pressure. And I know Who to ask for help. My latest physical therapist is also always there to give me advice. By the way, he’s the only one who out of everyone I’ve seen who hasn’t said “I don’t know”.
I have seen so many different medical people during the past two years, that it’s unbelievable. I went into this with complete doctor-phobia. I remember feeling extremely nervous (almost to the point of throwing up) just for my first appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. Yet now I’m comfortable around doctors. Maybe it’s because I went through every procedure they could think of and had available for my injury. Physical therapy, closed MRI’s, dye injections, cortisone injections, pain patches, ultra sounds, and surgery – you name it, I went through it.
At the end of it all, I only started actually healing once I went to a Christian physical therapist. All the science and meds in the world didn’t do it. It was slow, gentle hands. Willingness to work through problems slowly and not just push through it. I came to intensely dislike the phrase, “No pain, no gain”. That is one of THE most deceitftul things I’ve ever heard. Pain is your body’s warning sign, and you can’t just push through it. You need to identify bad pain and good pain, get to the root of the problem, and work SLOWLY through it. Patience is the key – also something I’ve had to learn through this process.
In conclusion, I still don’t know why God allowed me to go through these two years of pain, depression, and fear, but I do know that He did have a reason for it, and one day I will know what it was. These two years have had a great impact on my life, and if for nothing else, I can better relate with others who are suffering. I can’t say that my faith took leaps and bounds through this journey. I want to; I wish I could. But it would be a lie to say that it did.
The truth is, these past 2 years have been severe testing of my faith. I have failed time after time again. I’ve made huge mistakes. I’ve gone through depressive stages. Several times it seemed like my prayers were just bouncing off the sky. However, I’ve come to the realization that He never left me. He was always there for me. And I need to remember that, even when it doesn’t seem like He’s there. God seems distant at times, but He’s always there. Always.
This graduation day was very special to me. It has brought back a lot of memories – good and bad. It just feels so weird not to have another appointment scheduled. My life for the past 2 years has pretty much been medical appointments. And now…. it’s done. Over all, I’m pretty happy. I feel like I’ve accomplished something of great significance – something so great that I can’t even comprehend now…and that most people probably won’t understand. One day, I’ll look back and see it. One day.
By the way, my latest physical therapist’s name is David Fukumoto, and his email is: DaFuk@msn.com, in case you’re interested. I highly recommend him.